You are not a bitch for thinking/wanting/leaving. The fact that you can't even trust him to care for your pets means he isn't mature enough for any kind of relationship. When I asked him what he had spent $300 on, he told me that he had been watching porn (No big deal, we both do) and a pop up displayed saying he had caught a virus and that he needed to pay $300 to rectify it. The end result is the same eithe way, people and pets get hurt around him and nearly killed on a regular basis. If your man's IQ is high enough to make improvement possible, perhaps a therapist could train to be more assertive and take more responsibility. Drugs? Please get out of there if only for your own safety. Goodness, what a ridiculous excuse. And honey YOU ARE. That never happened and he never called to say he was going to be late, and I was extremely frustrated with that. My 17 year old son has it, and likely my husband and his dad do too. We dated for 2 years and I'm sure I only saw the tip of the iceberg. The very distracted/stressful days are the exception, not the rule, and he is great with the kids. And if someone kept accidentally setting fires I’d also be like “Are you stupid?” He might need a second mom for a girlfriend since he wants to be more independent. He has no common sense or social restraints whatsoever. I remind him again and says ok just let me know when you want it done!!! No. To be honest, the tone of your complaints sound like you treat him like a kid, and he might be rebelling like a kid. When we first met, he wore a pair of torn black cargo pants with 3 year old beaten sketchers - this is especially weird for a teenager. If that's not the case, there might be another problem hiding here. You have all of the giant red flags in front of you, so if you decide to move forward with him in whatever capacity, bear in mind you were well aware all along of this very serious problem. She screamed at me when I brought home the wrong spaghetti noodles (she wanted Prince and I brought home something different). Instead of getting upset and frustrated, try to find something he CAN do, something 'manly'... if you give him something to help with that he's actually a little interested in, he may be more prone to do it correctly... and no, I can't think of one helpful thing that guys WANT to do ;) GOOD LUCK! 19; September 7, 2018; 1943; 0; 5 Signs Your Boyfriend Has No Sense of Style. Just be happy you are superior. Life is hard enough without having to watch your SOs every move for fear of your finances and safety. If you WANT to live with for the rest of your life. You know, when I first started to read your post I figured your boyfriend has some sort of developmental issue, maybe he was on the autism or something else that potentially you and he could work together to overcome with therapy and behavior training. Prior to 2000, many people might have advised Sharon against moving in with her boyfriend, no matter how well they'd been getting along. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. I would leave. His mom also told me a few months ago that when he was 14, they were overseas on vacation in a 3rd world country and my boyfriend willingly went with a total stranger who offered him candy (Seriously) and his entire family had to contact the local police and arrange a search party. NO desire to get one? Is he taking a good Vitamin? He might be a very nice person - he sounds trusting and kind - but that doesn't mean he's a good partner. P.S. I don’t trust him, and I am actually starting to wonder if there is something more seriously wrong with him. What if he had a falling out with his family? Do you want to be his babysitter/mother for the rest of your lives? Always demanding that things be done a certain way? My first guess would be he's just very dumb and really does not understand what he's doing. Common sense is sound practical judgment concerning everyday matters, or a basic ability to perceive, understand, and judge that is shared by ("common to") nearly all people. He spent a lot of time thinking and obsessing about things so he really did not realize some things at times Also you might ask your therapist to describe what passive agression is. I find Frys Electronics in Downers Grove more price effective. It's time to go and keep yourself safe in doing so. This past week alone has been tough. His parents didn't completely raise him. I still have my Christmas decorations in my kitchen because I cannot reach the attic even with a ladder. If you're looking for permission to leave, here it is. She is nice but strange. I'd just like to say before I start, I'm not here to sh*t talk my boyfriend. Most 12 year olds know not to go with strangers. Some say common sense is more important than intellectual knowledge. After this, I made him seek out help with a therapist and psychologist. If in a while you are still feeling frustrated, you might have a good discussion with him about it all - trying to have a discussion rather than an argument and finally seek counseling. I would fix the hot water so that can't happen again. You are not required to stay with him just because you love each other. It's a wonder any of them survived this long . Ok maybe but at what point is he going to be responsible for himself and his choices?? Everything you said up until the bathtub innocent sounded very much like a majority of husbands to me. I mean, 29 no high school and not sharp and possibly ADHD untreated... dude needs to get his shit together and Not be dating. It doesn't sound like he cares about your feelings much. We all can be forgetful frm time to time and the shopping for other brands well I could see my husband doing that cause for whatever reason he thinks its better,but as for the tub that is another situation and he had the reminder of the temp. Having a new born can be tiring and a little stressful. Your poor doggies! Several of the items you mention are annoying but ultimately harmless, but a scalding or near-scalding means his behavior is putting his loved ones at risk. Imagine having pets with him (I mean he scalded your dogs twice already). He also admitted to telling them that 'nobody would be home' and when questioned as to why he would say that, he said that he had lied and said nobody would be home because he didn't want 'sales men bothering (My name here)'. I would list his odd behaviors and show the list to him as the starting point for talking with him (to avoid denial). Your dogs were injured due to his negligence. Lack Common Sense ------------------ I was born without common sense and to this day don't have much of it at all. In addition you did not say how old your husband is. I am not paying attention and crashing into things in the house etc. Common sense is neither common nor sense. sometimes we have to hurt others feelings by saying "since you seem unable to do this, i have removed the danger from the situation by removing or replacing with a safer item, etc". So what are the redeeming qualities of this relationship? Do You Have to Keep Track of Everything on the Calendar for Your Husband? Having had two parents with Alzheimer's myself, I can tell you that it starts out very subtle then becomes more obvious over time. When he is putting your life, and your pets lives at risk? Time with the kids, time for self and time for each other including negotiating time. So, my fellow “book smart” people, bear in mind that haters gonna hate (and graters gonna grate….cheese all over the casserole you have no idea how to cook). He accidentally left his email open on my computer and I found an email from … Common sense is defined as a good sense in practical matters. M ost women have had it happen to them, and at some point, you’ve probably had it happen to you.. Common sense is the ability to have sound and practical judgment on everyday matters. It seems like a real disability. I might also suggest this: look around your home and see if it is a healthy home, there are various molds that can cause some peoples minds to get somewhat foggy and that is worth an inspection. It's okay, and it's perfectly acceptable to leave. Are you willing to potentially trust children with this man? I deal with the same with my husband. It’s almost the rules. He describes similar behavior and offers real remedies. You are only twenty two and he is likely going to ruin your life. He's probably shutting down a bit more that usual also. They didn't manage to steal anything because thankfully I was home and our dogs started barking and kicking up a stink but they definitely attempted to enter our property, I heard the backdoor smash and saw the glass everywhere. Have you ever given time to your common sense? The side effects were making life very difficult and it just wasn't worth it. It's okay to leave someone because they have no common sense. It's okay to leave someone for being a complete dumb butt. I feel that his behavior is not fair to you, and borders (and then some ) on arrogance. WHYYY?!?! In addition, hubby might be grieving in his own way also for your mother, or perhaps he is actually fostering an illness or condition of sorts. *WTF*. (I'm controlling, so I know.) When I told him about this post, I said "there is a woman who has a husband just like you - a chemical engineer who is clueless" he said "he's totally different from me, I'm a sofware engineer." I wish you luck!! That said...my husband's way of dealing with his stress/fear of becoming a dad was to basically be an Ahole. sorry if I'm going to repeat things others may have said but I haven't read any of the responses. While you say he should not be tired, he still may be. Most times I just fluff it off but sometimes it does really get to me. I think the closest my boyfriend has gotten is getting the clothes NEXT to the hamper. I wish you the best dear. Have kids? He can wake up at 2 am because he found a solution/idea to try. How much comfort are his good intentions going to bring you when you're robbed, or dying in a house fire, or looking for your lost dog, or poor and struggling all your life because you married a guy who can't get a GED and will forever bag groceries while you do the real work? But the other stuff does not. I've been having issues with my husband (who I married only a few months ago). My husband is the same way and after me complaining about all of his "oops", he finally said it seems like the only time I talk to him was to complain and never once did I ever say "thanks for doing this or that, you did a good job". He cannot think of future consequences maybe due to being raised in a bubble BUT after some time this should have dissipated. That said, being with him is actively dangerous. I am now happily married to a great man who I can absolutely trust. I've given up on asking him to run errands for me (we have a 2 month old, so we're kind of in the same boat here)... while yes, an extra set of hands to help is nice, IT'S NOT HELPING IF YOU'RE MAKING MORE WORK FOR ME! There's some light kissing with both guys, but it's otherwise squeaky-clean compared to many popular romcoms. Dating someone like this is okay when you're 19 (when you two met) but your concern is perfectly normal now that you're getting older. I'm wondering if it could be passive-aggressive behavior. Not ever in malicious or hurtful way, just kinda dotty and clueless. If you don't pay, they won't show up at your house, they'll just sue you. However, the right answer can easily be found with the basic knowledge. That's why the word for "nurturing" is "MATERNAL", not "PATERNAL." Automatically alarm bells were ringing for me, because we live in an area where random men have been known to call on your house to check if you're at home and then if they notice you're not at home, they will invade your property and steal things. I think this goes beyond the normal forgetfulness of a engineer. What if this was your baby? Sounds like the guy found himself a new mom when he moved out of his parent's house. Lol I’m biased but feel like most MILs are wacky. Auto-suggest helps you quickly narrow down your search results by suggesting possible matches as you type. I would wonder if he might have Asperger's - a high functioning form of autism. The first type of common sense, good sense, can be described as "the knack for seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to … Causing it tip is to prevent yourself from over thinking over-analyze things too.! … my husband out what it going on medically I would ask him to come eat and.! 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